Big Decision Ahead

I have said all along that Moo Moo would go to traditional public school.  So here he is at 3 1/2 and suddenly it’s time to go to preschool this fall.  Registration is due the end of this month and suddenly this feels like the wrong thing.  I don’t know what is holding me back exactly on the whole preschool thing. 

I thought that this time would come and we would happily send him on his way into his own life- separate from us.  I fear making the wrong decision and I think that is the biggest thing.  I know in my heart that he will do fine, he will learn new things, he will make friends, he will be fine.  BUT every timeI think about it my stomach starts to churn.  I don’t want to homeschool for ME.  If we homeschool it will be for the kids not out of our fears and trepidations of sending them out into the world.  Yet this is thebiggest thing holding me back on sending him.  We have grown a lot spritually since the time that DH & I began our life together.  I don’t think that the entire world and public schools are filled with impurity or unbelieivers but the fact of the matter is that Christians are more and more in the minority.  Now, more than ever, I belieive that having that foundation is essential for our children.  I know that we will not be able to shield the kids from life but if we can give them that foundation of Christianity I think they would be better off to fight against things that I believe are coming sooner than I would like to think. 

However I don’t think that this is the only thing that bothers me about sending him to public school.  I went to public school my whole life and my parents were able to teach me a very basic foundation of Christianity that has brought me to where I am today with it.  We could do the same.  There must be something else, something that I have yet to uncover from my own conciousness.  There seems to be no time for that right now but I think there is.  The current plan is to register him for preschool and take a careful and well thought out evaluation leading up to the time that school begins.  Hopefully by then I will know in my heart AND in my stomach what is the right decision.  If we decide to homeschool, there is only a (very) small deposit that we will be out of financially and if we decide that preschool is the right place for Moo Moo everything will be in place and ready to go.

I have recently began networking with other families in the area who do homeschool preschool- structured curriculums.  We have not been doing a set curriculum; rather just working on the basics and supplementing with things that interest him.  We have lots of fun activities planned for this spring and summer which I know he will have a blast doing while learning at the same time.  All of the families in the area are very supportive of the decision to homeschool while at the same time understanding of our fears and reluctance to do so- so far seeming respectful of whatever route we choose but willing to help if they can.  That has been a blessing but also makes my heart yearn for being able to teach our son(s) at home, myself.

Decisions.  BIG decision.  What’s a parent to do?

** Note:  In most of this I implied that the decision is mine and mine alone.  DH most defienly has a say in what ever the decsion is but thus far is supportive of whatever I choose, offereing his observations and input along the way.  🙂